YOU DON’T LOOK A DAY OVER YOU
When an older woman, (I make no apologies for concentrating
on the female gender), dresses in a certain way, has a certain hairstyle,
applies makeup in a particular way (or wears none at all) she is being herself.
The same self that she was at 18 or 20 or 30.
Furthermore, the ‘self’ she is projecting is a far more defined and
powerful image than that of the younger version, because despite all the
brainwashing to the contrary, age brings several advantages over youth. More confidence,
less confusion, less fear of people’s opinions, the ability to know who you are
and what you want and to be it and demand it.
You have learned from all your experiences and used that knowledge to
overcome some of life’s difficulties.
When I apply my signature black eyeliner and check my black
(now tattooed on) eyebrows and enjoy that rather bold sultry look – I’m
satisfied and even pleased with what I see. When I dress in black leggings and
some random black or red top, usually
with an offbeat look to it and usually one of the several versions of
smart black boots I possess chosen for comfort as well as ‘coolness’, (I don’t
do tottering in high heels or short sausage skin dresses,) I am in my zone.
When I’m dancing my
jazz moves or imitating street dance (not that well) around the kitchen with my
MP3 blaring out an electro beat or a hip hop classic or an old school funk tune
in my ears, it is because it lifts my very soul. Great music is an addiction
and I can’t imagine life without it.
I find certain looks in men attractive, certain personality
traits. I have certain sexual
preferences, fantasies (no details, but there is nothing wrong with my
libido). I want to be attractive, but I
rebel against what fashion or society say I should look like, in fact I tend to
rebel against things that ‘everyone’ is doing or saying unless it happens to be
my thing. I have always been this way,
only now I have the confidence to relinquish doubt about who I am and I don’t
worry about what people think. This is
me as a more than middle aged woman.
I have been known to tweet that the phrases ‘at my age’ or ‘look your age’ should be banned,
but to no avail it seems. Do all 16 year olds look or act the same? Or 18, or
20, or 30 year olds? Of course they don’t. So guess what – neither do
40/50/60/70 … year olds. Do you know
why? Because we all look and act according to our own individual
(remember that word) persona. It’s called being yourself. The only thing that
age is responsible for is the natural deterioration of the body and its
severity is dependant on an individual’s health, lifestyle and genetics – it doesn’t
necessarily represent some awful decline.
But this is not a contest and another myth is that older
women who dare to challenge the image or behaviour of that ‘certain age’ are
trying to be young again. Naturally we would all prefer our bodies to perform
as well as possible. Our joints not to ache, our muscles to retain strength and
flexibility. But do we dream of being a young girl again? Just because we
continue to try and maintain our attractiveness, our sexuality, our style, why
assume that we are emulating the days of our youth? If you used to love rock or
reggae or funk, do you give up listening to it after a certain age? Should you
stop dancing for fear of looking undignified? If you loved a certain look,
maybe black or multi coloured outfits, bold makeup or being barefaced, a distinguished
or demure look. A bohemian or sensual style. Does your age transform your
preferences? Should you cover up, tone down? Cut your hair and go beige? Only
tap your feet demurely? Try to blend in and pursue only ‘age appropriate’
activities? OF COURSE NOT.
How you look, whatever your beauty regime, whatever gives
your life meaning, your opinions, the way you talk, your preferred activities,
your sexuality – all of it is just the same ‘you’ throughout life regardless of
the passing years. So the next time you hear someone moan and tut about a not
young woman wearing this or that or ‘letting herself down’ with this or that
behaviour or using the stupid expression ‘mutton dressed as lamb’ - just laugh
at them. Their view is old fashioned, tarnished by media propaganda and anyway
being older means you don’t care. Hold that thought close!